Prisoner of the Glass House

“Don’t throw stones” said the sage so well

“If in a house made of glass you dwell”

But a different tale I think he’d tell

If he’d been raised in my crystal hell.

WHERE…

I never felt a breath of wind

No rain, no snow, no sleet

Not even a pebble to stub my toe

No grass to stain my feet.

What secret sin could I commit

In this prison where every inch is lit

And the world can see every time I spit?

While an inch away my inquisitors sit

Peering into my prison of glass.

Prisoners all, through the walls we stare

Quick to judge and unable to share

With our hearts concealed and our actions bare

In our spotless palace of glass.

So our deeds eschew what our minds embrace

We dare not go where our feelings race

Shouting ‘TRUTH’, a path of lies we trace

And ‘holy’ we call the best poker face

In this twisted dungeon of glass.

Kept alone by walls we dare not break

Enslaved by chains that we will not shake

Entombing our hearts where the will not break

Immune to the love that we try to fake

Frozen fast in our cell blocks of glass.

In this sterile world, with its pristine curse

My charade grew better and my heart grew worse

Long prayers poured forth from a soul half dead,

My heart dreams crash round me, their wings made of lead.

But I helped build this prison myself.

Yet through our halls one man walked free

Blemished past laid bare for us all to see

Free to hug and to laugh, get annoyed, even cry

If this life was human, then zombie was I.

And TRAPPED in this prison of glass!

Of the touch of his God I heard him tell

And it tossed a rock through my crystal cell

A rock called hope touched my vacant shell

While around our heads, in shards it fell,

That hideous prison of glass!

So I told him my life’s tale in all its woe

Fear slave of the God I didn’t know

Choking back the emotion I couldn’t show

Dreaming of places I dared not go…

Yes, THIS was my prison of glass!

My ‘God’ was a bully who’d take me to task

His, a gentleman friend– whom I’d only need ask

And choking up sobs that for years I’d held bound

I begged ‘Him’ for whatever this friend of mine found.

And I felt rushing LIFE where before– only glass!

I sob, I laugh, I babble thanks

As walls collapse of rage and angst

My God– no more in black and white

In vivid colors, warmth and light.

My prison’s shattered– I have flown.

And if as we walk through this earthly veil

At an unseen wall you see me quail…

Rejoice when that relic I finally pass through.

To my newest found freedom raise your glass (or two).

For a ruin is all that remains today

Of my hideous prison of glass!

And if one day as I’ve left these shards

I meet one trapped in his house of cards

Then joy from my broken heart I’ll show

And a rock through his glass prison wall I’ll throw.

That the God who is LOVE

We can feel, we can know

I was once past feeling,

I know,

I Know!

Micah Kohler —7/21-8/09

Searcher of Spirits

Searcher of spirits,

Try Thou my reins and heart;

Cleanse Thou my inwards part -

Turn, overturn, and turn.

Wood, hay and stubble see

Now spread out before Thee;

Burn, burn.

Worker in gardens,

Dig around my hidden root,

Let branch, leaf, bud and fruit

Respond in quickening life.

Seek out the canker there -

Cut out and do not spare

Thy knife.

Savior of sinners,

Out of the depths I cry,

"Perfect me or I die -

Perfect me, O Patient One";

In Thy revealing light

I stand confessed - outright

Undone.

O to be Holy!

Thou wilt not say to me nay

Who movest me to pray;

"Enable to endure."

Spiritual cleansing Fire,

Fulfill my heart's desire;

Make pure.

- Amy Carmichael

The Voice of Truth

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of POWER and of LOVE and of a SOUND MIND."
II Timothy 1:7

Chivalry is Dead

This story, Chivalry is Dead is so sad. How embarrassing for this school!

Poor guy!

Patriotism - Part II

(Note: You can read Part I here. Also, as a disclaimer, I realize the extreme of my "examples", and not wanting to put all Americans in a unfavorable light, I want to point out that these mindsets are not the majority. Also, in regards to the remarks made about Haiti by "Steve", I edited some of what he originally said. He also suggested that we relocate all Haitians before we destroy the island with bulldozers. See, that's much better! *sarcasm*)

I am very aware that the debate of whether or not Christians should be involved in politics and to what extent. I have been subjected to many different kinds of Christians with many different interpretations of Scriptures and I wanted to discover for myself what God really means on this subject. What I write will probably not be anything new - but it is what I have discovered, and it is where my convictions lie. I started with a small convictions, but once I delved deeper into the Scriptures on this subject, I was blown away. I look forward to sharing my findings.

Politics and "patriotism" are sprinkled liberally throughout Scriptures. God is clear that He will bless the nation that "seeks Him." (2 Chronicles 7:14) God created the nations. He created languages and borders and ordained their goings and comings. Politics play a key role in Israel's history - yet always seems to have a sordid, dark undertone. When the children of Israel left Egypt and followed Moses into the wilderness, they wearied of waiting for their God-ordained leader to come down off of Mount Sinai. They adopted a democratic mindset, took matters into their own hands and when the majority agreed, they built a god unto themselves - a decision which carried dire consequences.

Once established in the Promised Land, the children of Israel weren't contented to be "set apart" complained to the prophet Samuel saying that they wanted a king and leader "like all of the nations". Before this, Israel had been "ruled" through a religious system judges and priests, while God was recognized as Israel's one true King. Despite Samuel's warnings against human kings, the people stubbornly insisted (I Samuel 8) and God commanded Samuel to make them a king. When a true political system was instituted in Israel, most of their hardships began. Under a cycle of different kings and leaders, Israel opened herself to countless political influences from various neighboring kingdoms, and began a tragic yo-yo game of serving God, then backsliding; cutting down high places, then erecting them back up again; being blessed by God, then turning against Him, suffering His punishment and then repenting again...

The Bible is clear on Israel's wicked kings, but even Israel's best kings were still human. As true offspring of Adam, they were still sinfully weak and inevitably failed their God and their people. Even the best leader with the best interests are still imperfect. King David, who was described as being a man after God's heart, (I Samuel 16:18) sinned against God with Bathsheba, and as a result, his family deteriorated. The consequences of the resulting dysfunction were felt by the entire nation (II Samuel 15) King Hezekiah was praised as trusting in the God of Israel, "so that there was none like him among ALL the kings of Judah after him, nor among those before him." (II Kings 18:3-7) However, Hezekiah's heart was still susceptible to pride. And it was that patriotic pride that prompted him to show off all of his riches and wealth to the political envoy from the heathen kingdom of Babylon. The cost of that political pride was the overthrow of Jerusalem several generations later and the carrying-away of Judah by the Babylonians in 586 B.C.

As a result of this seeming endless cycle, it was easy for the Israelites to despair, and the Scriptures and prophets were clear on the subject of "politics", and warnings and reminders of how things really were and WHO God is. The Bible is liberally sprinkled with God's views of power, nations, politics and patriotism.

"Behold, the nations are like a drop in the bucket, and are accounted as the dust on the scales; behold He takes up the coastlands like fine dust...all the nations are as nothing before Him, they are accounted by Him as less than nothing and emptiness." Isaiah 40:15, 17

"Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God." Psalm 20:7

"For the LORD is enraged against all the nations, and furious against all their host..." Isaiah 34:2

"The LORD has made known His salvation; He has revealed His righteousness in the sight of the nations. He has remembered His steadfast LOVE and faithfulness to the house of Israel. All the ends of the earth have seen the salvation of our God." Psalm 98:2-3

"For unto us a child is born, unto us a Son is given; and the government shall be upon His shoulder, and His name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the increase of His government and of peace there shall be no end..." Isaiah 8:6-7

Politics and patriotism played a key and specific role in Jesus' life on earth. Many Jews looked to Jesus as a political messiah; one who would lead the Zealots in rebellion against the Roman Empire and set up the Israel again as an independent state. They were more focused on "patriotism", that many did not see Him for who He truly was. He came for a greater purpose, and to meet a more dire need. He came to be the answer to the long awaited Savior, and to be the King of our hearts. His message to His disciples and followers was clear -

"Then he said to them, 'Therefore render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar's and to God the things that are God's.'" Matthew 22:21

"Jesus answered, 'My kingdom is not of this world, if my kingdom were of this world, my servants would have been fighting...but my kingdom is not of this world." John 18:36

The tragic irony is that though Jesus had no intention of setting up a political reign during His first time on Earth, it was for the very whisper of treason, that hypocrites and traitors found reason to bring Him before the judicial authorities of that day and have Him executed - all in the name of patriotism and religious zeal.

"Now Jesus stood before the governor, and the governor asked Him, 'Are you the King of the Jews?' Jesus said, 'You have said so.'" Matthew 27:11

"Again the high priest asked Him, 'Are you the Christ, the Son of the Blessed?' And Jesus said, 'I AM, and you will see the Son of Man seated at the right hand of Power, and coming with clouds of Heaven.' And the high priest tore his garments and said, 'What further witnesses do we need? You have heard His blasphemy. What is your decision?'" Mark 14:61-63

So what can we learn from the Scriptures that is applicable in our lives in this day and age, no matter what our nationality? What is the role of the Church and of a Christian in politics and government? What should patriotism be to us?

I see I'm going to have to make this a three-part post.

Part III coming...

Patriotism - Part I

Patriotism.

It's one of those subjects that I've been pondering a lot about lately. One of the pillars of my upbringing, I have been searching my personal patriotic convictions and feelings and comparing them to the truth of Scripture. And really - what is it? And what role should patriotism play in a Christian's life?

I am exceptionally grateful to God for allowing me to be born an American. I have been raised with the foundational appreciation and the open practice of 'Man's unalienable Rights' - the freedom of Speech, the freedom of Religion and all of the other principles that make up our beautiful nation of beautiful people.

But appreciation and patriotism are not the same thing. The Amish are no doubt appreciative of the political rights that allow them to practice their religion in peace - but they do not practice their appreciation as patriots. I was raised to be patriotic. As a home-schooler, I was well-taught in American history - of which I am very proud. I get a tingly, teary-eyed feeling when I hear the National Anthem played or sung. I cry (sob) in remembering fallen soldiers and the sacrifices that have been made. My heart swells at the sight of the Stars & Stripes waving in the air.

Ever since I was old enough to participate, by family and I have been involved in political events too many to even number. I have marched in parades for candidates; walked door-to-door handing out fliers until my heels bled; made phone calls for John Boehner; attended Presidential rallies; stood on TV behind George W. Bush; and I stood on the stadium floor with all the media screaming until I was hoarse when John McCain announced Sarah Palin as his running mate on live TV in his 2008 campaign. I have angrily protested on freezing cold sidewalks; have volunteered at many Right to Life events; Tea Parties - and the list goes on and on with countless other political activities - all in the name of patriotism, the Constitution, Liberty - oh, and God...yeah...

Lord Byron once said, "If a man cannot love his country, he can love nothing." While that may be true to some extent, it's certainly not a foundation to build your life - or love - upon. But considering this quote, I started to realize that for most Americans patriotism is summed up not in a love for their country and our principles - but in a disdain for other's countries and other's principles. In fact, where in-country politics are concerned, most people, whether Republican or Democrat, usually find their reasons for voting, not "for" something, but "against" something. Everything, everything coming from almost a single-minded negative reaction. And not for the sake of principles, but for the sake of how it affects Number One - "ME". As happy as I am to be an American, I respect others dedication towards their homeland, and rather find it a deep honor that people will leave their culture, families, and country to come to my homeland to pursue their dreams. (But I am referring to those who go through the torturous maze of legal immigration.)

Because of the influence of media and Conservative talk-shows (aka - Conservative does not equal Christian) I have realized that people talk as they think they should. True - "from the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks" - but what people hear affects their heart, if we are not careful in choosing our beliefs based on conviction, it is easy to "believe"anything. While liberalism may be a mental illness, as Rush Limbaugh claims, people who "hear" of Biblical principles masquerading as"Conservative Values" and follow the man or political party behind it, instead of the TRUTH -  soon become just as tainted and twisted as any anti-Biblical heresy. Here follows two examples of common American "patriotism":

Only yesterday, I was standing in our small town's post office. There was only one worker available at the counter and six people already ahead of me in line when I walked in. Everyone was rushing around, trying to get errands done before the current "blizzard" arrived. After I had been standing, waiting about 5 minutes, without moving up at all, a man walked in and took his place behind me.

"Oh my gosh!" He was muttering. He proceeded to mumble and complain about the long waits all over town, postage prices, union workers, until a new customer arrived behind him and he had fresh blood to pour out his complaints on.

"I gotta go to Wal-Mart after this....all the long waits will be ridiculous. I'm gonna have to head over to Richmond. I'll get to see all the Mexicans....that always thrills me!" He said. The woman behind him laughed appreciatively. I stopped listening after that comment, because he was irritating me. Yes - illegal immigration is an issue. A big issue in our country. Yes - the majority of illegal immigrants come from over the Mexican border. Yes - I even support Arizona's immigration law. BUT - are we to condemn every Latino looking person as though they are public nuisance; all criminals; or - heaven forbid - somehow lower then us? Some do think that way...whether they realize it or not. And that attitude becomes a passing joke for a laugh from a pretty stranger in a public post office.

My second example happened about two weeks ago and touches closer to home. Two weeks ago, my dad's friends, Tom & Rick, spent their week expanding our restaurant dining room, and doing remodeling, reconstruction, and electrical work. They did a fantastic job. It's awesome. However, they brought a little extra "help" with them one day from their regular job.

Steve - I shall call him, was a hard worker too. Giving his time and labor for free to help out some strangers is an honorable thing. But he really rubbed me the wrong way. Really. Really. Annoying.

I never told him my name, but somehow he found out, and every chance he could he was yelling for me, "Hey EMILY!" At lunch break, my dad and I handed out their food. Rick and Steve took a couple chairs. Tom settled onto the floor and I joined him with my Diet Coke, silently following their conversation. Somehow the conversation turned to the gas station next door to our restaurant, which is owned by two Indian brothers. Since I am the only one who can actually get polite responses from them (that's another story) I'm the one who gets sent over there whenever we need something. From there, the discussion became how every gas station in the U.S. seems to be owned by either Indians, or Middle-Easterners. My dad pointed out how they're are much nicer to me then they are to him.

"HEY Emily!" Steve leaned over in his chair, "You know what I call them?" He paused a second, but not long enough for an answer - "Dot-heads!"

I smiled sickly, but didn't laugh. I understood the joke about the Hindu woman's traditional bindi, but to me it was not laughable - it was a sad sign of their need for Jesus, not a subject for a racial joke. Unfortunately, it didn't end there. After they continued to share stories and express frustration over the fact that immigrants own almost all the gas stations in America, I piped up -

"You know who owns almost all of the gas stations in Haiti? Middle-Easterners too! They immigrate there from Jordon and Lebanon!" Before anyone could respond Steve cut in again loudly, directing his comments to me:

"Now you know what I think we should do with that country? I think we should just take a bunch of bulldozers and just push the entire island of Haiti into the ocean! That country has been - "

Before he could finish his remarks, Tom - who knows how I have been there four times - stood up and loudly announced it was time to get back to work. My face was getting hot, and if I hadn't been so angry I could have thought of a thousand replies. But in reality - the strongest feeling I felt was a sick pity. Because I knew that despite America being the number-one global leader in charity - that attitude towards third-world countries, not just Haiti, was sadly common. And it is simply a misguided patriotism stemming from ignorance. Not just a lack of knowledge - but a lack of desire for knowledge. And the best response for ignorance is silence. "Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest though become just like him" (Proverbs 26:4) - wise words indeed.

I have discovered since becoming involved in over-sea missions the amount of disdain that is out there for people who will take their talents, money and labor overseas for charitable work. I have received grief from both Christians and non-Christians alike. "To h*ll, with Haiti," one "Christian" man went as far to say, "We have enough poor in our own country!" Misguided patriotism - loyalty to country before loyalty to God's service. God calls some to go, some to give and some to stay. "What is that to you - you follow ME!" (John 21:22)

And here we reach the real root of the matter.

Part II later...

Grateful

I find myself thinking constantly in my mind like I was writing...and I would love to write about my life; anecdotes and stories to practice incorporating humor into my writing. But somehow the temptation is too strong when I sit down to write, and out of the deepest part of me - the part that shrinks back and often refuses exposure - is what gets put down into words.

I could write about my town - one day, promise myself, I will write a book about this place. But it might bore you  now. I mean - why would you care that Lisa Ludy went off her rocker again from a chemical in balance and robbed the Village Pantry late Sunday night? She acted like a clerk and even told Mark, who was in there to buy ginger ale for his wife after closing up the Bar & Grill, that Jesus was coming back on His birthday. She finally called the police on herself.

That was just one night.

I'm telling you, you can't make up the small-town gossip that happens in this town. I love my strange life.
One day, I know I'll miss it.


Since tomorrow is Thanksgiving, I'm doing some thinking, and I know I have so much to be thankful for. Developing a heart of gratitude is something that the Lord is teaching me. Complaining comes so easily, and though it's been said so many times, it is often still so taken for granted - we, Americans, have so much to be thankful for! We don't know.

We don't know.

I am tempted, sitting here now in sleety, icy weather, to complain about the cold - but I am thankful that I am not living in a tent, terrified that I or my children might contract cholera. So I am grateful for the $400+ worth of fuel for our stoves that the Lord provided us with last week, which will last us well into the winter. I'm grateful for my warm bed and warm clothes. I am grateful for the food that goes into my mouth.

I am grateful for my family - for the contribution, joy, friendship and investment that each member, my mom and dad, brothers and sister, have put into my life. If what we have is suffering, then I am happy to be suffering with them. :) I am grateful for the continued good health and protection that God has blessed me, my family, and all of those I love.

I am grateful for my dear friends, brothers and sisters in Christ - His glorious body - that He has blessed we with all over this world.  I am grateful for each and every one who has blessed and invested in my life in a personal way this year.

I am grateful for people, like my friend Cody Lee, who leaves for Basic Training next week...and the thousands like him who are willing to sign up to defend this country, our freedoms and what we stand for.

I am grateful for every lesson, blessing and opportunity that has come my way this year. I am thankful for my Father's deep mercy.

I am thankful for Love. For the Love of the Father - and for my Lover, Jesus, who loved me and gave Himself for me.

We have so much to be thankful for - wherever we live, and whatever our path. I am not one of those disgusting, Candide type of optimistic personality -but perspective make a great difference in the way you choose to live each day. I like to get in the habit, during life's little frustrations and sometimes great disappointments, to say, 'It could always be worse.' Because it always could.

There is an old hymn that says, "Count your blessings, name then one by one; Count your blessings see what God has done..."

Would you join me in counting your blessings, and expressing gratitude to our Maker, this week and all of out lives?

"Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits; who forgives all thine iniquities and heals all your diseases; who redeems your life from destruction; who crowns thee with loving-kindess and tender mercies; who satisfies your mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagles." Psalm 103:2-4

"I thank my God upon every remembrance of you." Philippians 1:3

Cake

It's funny...France just can't seem to get it right. I guess nothing changes much.

While the infant America was showing the world how to set up a government for the people, by the people - France was struggling to free themselves in one of the most violent and horrendous displays of a people struggling against a government that was too oppressive. The French Revolution was a stern and frightening reminder of the desperate acts that humanity will reduce themselves to in an effort to take back the right to work, live, eat and breath  for oneself. It is unfortunate that they missed the mark. It only instilled an insecurity and neediness of another kind.

I'm sure those surly peasants thirsty for the blood of the nobility, would be turning over on their graves to see the display of their progeny's today. With despicable whining and crying, the French people have decided this week to riot in retaliation that their nanny government has decided who, when and for how long the people should actually work to earn their bread.

Maybe Marie Antoinette's political advice wasn't too far off - just two hundred years too early.

Make no mistake about it - the French will receive their cake. So will the comrades of every other country in Europe and across the world who embraces the ideology of Socialism, Unionism and Communism. Well, America? Will we continue to blindly accept with open hands whatever the government doles out? Will we be happy to think we're standing on our rights when we squeal with intermittent whining when we think we're getting short-changed?

Or will it be too late when we're choking on the stale, dry crumbs of our tiny piece of government-allotted richness and the fresh, warm taste of the self-baked bread of labor is only a faint memory?

Over my guillotined body.