Beware of Ishmael

Winter is a good time for disillusionment.

That is what I always try to protect myself from in these months. Perspective helps - so does laughing, visiting friends, planning trips, Christmas lights, and family movie times.

Oh, and prayer. And Scripture.

Maybe it's just part of growing up. Everyone has their times of the year when they start to reflect. Looking back at only my short twenty years, I'm surprised at the paths I've been taken on. I can't wait to see what else is ahead.

 If I can keep discouragement away.

My sister and I went out Saturday night - met a friend at the mall and went out to eat. We've know R---- for years. Literally. We grew up in the same church, under a lot of the same circumstances: home schooled, big family, old house, family-owned business, conservative values - some family's more legalistic than others. She and my sister go to the same college, and "school talk" dominated much of the conversation.

"So how about you, Emily?" She asked, as we both paused in Old Navy and browsed some scarves, "You have any school plans?"

"Yeah..." I replied

"What? What was that look for?" She asked.

"I don't know. I do have some plans. I'm starting a long distance degree in Christian Counseling from a seminary in January - but it's unaccredited, so...I still want to start in Sinclair next fall and get an Associates in Communications. Anyway, that's the plan...." I finished with a smile.

R---- gave an approving look, "That's cool. Stick to your plan."

 She turned to me, suddenly and her voice intensified, "Because as much as I would love to believe in Prince Charming and that he'll just come riding up - it won't happen. You have to make plans for yourself."

I took in what she said, and teased her a little for her "words of wisdom." But I know her too well. And I know myself. It is all too attractive to think discouragingly. Too tempting to believe in the necessity of self-sufficiency. R---- plays that role well - but that's all it is: a role. For all her big talk, she is like every other wounded, vulnerable, waiting young lady. Because no matter how you were raised, or how good you are - you will be wounded. That's what happens in a world of sin. Ugly, sickening sin. What is so easy to "forget", is where sin abounds, grace much, much more abounds!

"My goal in life is to never live with someone else again. After six brothers - are you kidding me? I'm serious!" She said as we made our way through the Saturday night shopping crowds. We chose to ignore that comment.

Because later, sitting the quiet restaurant booth, after finishing our meals, she told on herself.

"I'm in a Bible study with several other girls and we're praying for each of our requests specifically. My request was that either God would allow something to happen with "this guy", or that I would get over him and neither has happened. God is answered all the other girls requests, and I feel like God is ignoring me."

"They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their wings, they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint. Wait, I say, wait on the Lord."

But she knows the Scriptures. She was raised in them as we were as well. And sometimes it's just hard to hold on. That's why God tells us to pray for faith. Pray, pray, pray...

Lord, I believe...help Thou my unbelief!"

Rebekah said she texted her older, wiser, married sister.

"Tell me again," She wrote, "why it's important to wait on God?"

The answer?

"Because if you don't, Ishmael happens."

"I thought that was a really cool answer," R---- said.

I agree.