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"I will greatly rejoice in the LORD, my soul shall be joyful in my God; for He hath clothed me with the garments of SALVATION, He hath covered me with the garments of RIGHTEOUSNESS, as bridegroom decketh himself with ornaments, and as a bride adorneth herself with jewels. For as the earth bringeth forth her bud, and as the GARDEN causeth the things that are sown in it to SPRING FORTH, so the Lord GOD will cause RIGHTEOUSNESS and PRAISE to spring forth before ALL NATIONS."

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

A Merrrrrry Christmas!

I hope everybody had a merry Christmas.

As usual, ours was a laid-back, lay-around-and-eat-all-you-can weekend. It's amazing how things change when you get older. The nicest thing about Christmas is not presents or food to me, but just the relaxation of having the business closed and everyone at home together just spending time, playing music, playing games and watching a movie. Of course, spending our Christmas Eve in our new church, worshipping and celebrating our Savior's birth was the most beautiful memory.

Well, I have to admit I did get a little bored over the weekend...so I spent some time playing around with my camera...

And I took pictures of my eye:


and myself:




and waaay too many videos of my adorable, beautiful, hilarious, talented, kooky little sister, Anna. Here's a precious picture from our Christmas. What personalities...



Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!

By the way, this is my favorite Christmas related story ever!

Happy Birthday, Christopher!

Yesterday my little brother turned 15! I can't believe it...

15 years ago, my sister and I stayed at my grandma's house the day after Christmas. It's because mommy was in the hospital having "the baby." Mommy and daddy didn't want to find out the gender of "the baby", but I knew it was a boy. When mommy and daddy told Jessica and I that we were going to have a new baby, we were outside on the back deck. We were so excited we jumped up and down until the deck shook and they made us stop. But I had always wanted a big brother, and since that was an impossibility, I knew I would get a little brother.

So we were playing the new board game, 'Sorry!' that we got for Christmas, on the floor of mamaw's living room, and everytime the phone rang, mamaw would jump up, thinking it was my daddy calling from the hospital. The next day, mommy and daddy and the baby were home. I remember pulling in the driveway, so excited to see if mommy wasn't fat anymore and to see the new baby...

Jessica and I raced into the door and there on the sofa sat mommy and daddy...and on the floor in a baby carrier was the baby.

Mom and Dad named him Christopher Gordon. His middle name is after daddy's name. His first name means "Christ-Bearer."

I am amazed on how Chris has grown up. I can't believe it's been 15 years. I am proud and grateful for the example of Christ he has become even at his young age, and the way he has grown in his faith. He is developing into a strong leader his younger (and older) siblings can look up to, and has a sense of discernment that goes beyond his age. And after years of worrying that he won't grow out of the white cowboy boots, purple cape, and Revolutionary hat stage - he has developed quite the sense of fashion. A result of having two older sisters and growing up listening to them talk about clothes. He is a hard worker and also very artistic. He loves music, photography, and building things.

I am grateful for my "little-big" brother. You make me laugh and you inspire me.

Thanks for getting me hooked on Jack Johnson. I should have listened to you months ago. ;)

I love you.

Happy Birthday!


Thursday, December 23, 2010

The PRINCE OF PEACE

"Show us they MERCY, O LORD, and grant us THY SALVATION...

Surely His MERCY is nigh unto them that fear him, that is GLORY may dwell in our land,

MERCY and TRUTH are met together...

RIGHTEOUSNESS and PEACE have KISSED EACH OTHER...

TRUTH shall SPRING out of the earth...

And RIGHTEOUSNESS shall look down from HEAVEN...

Yea, the LORD shall give that which is GOOD; and our land shall yield her increase...

RIGHTEOUSNESS shall GO BEFORE HIM; and shall SET US IN THE WAY OF HIS STEPS."
Psalm 85:7, 9-13


"Blessed be the Lord God of Israel; for he hath VISITED and REDEEMED his people, and hath raised up a HORN OF SALVATION for us in the house of his servant David; and he spake by the mouth of his holy prophets, which have been since the world began: that we should be saved from our enemies and from the hand of all who hate us; to perform the mercy promised to our fathers, and to remember his holy covenant; the oat which he sware unto our father Abraham, that he would grant unto us, that we being delivered out of the hand of our enemies might serve him without fear, in HOLINESS and RIGHTEOUSNESS before him and ALL THE DAYS OF OUR LIFE...

And thou, child, shalt be called the prophet of the HIGHEST: and shalt go before the face of the Lord to prepare his ways...

To give KNOWLEDGE of SALVATION unto his people by the REMISSION OF THEIR SINS...

Through the TENDER MERCIES of GOD; whereby the

DAYSPRING FROM ON HIGH...

hath visited...us.

To give LIGHT to them that sit in darkness and in the shadow of death...

And to GUIDE our feet into the WAY OF PEACE."
Luke 1:68-79

O Holy Night!


Bon Nwel!

Monday, December 20, 2010

O Love!

O Love that wilt not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in thee;
I give thee back the life I owe,
That in thine ocean depths its flow
May richer, fuller be.

O light that followest all my way,
I yield my flickering torch to thee;
My heart restores its borrowed ray,
That in thy sunshine’s blaze its day
May brighter, fairer be.


O Joy that seekest me through pain,
I cannot close my heart to thee;
I trace the rainbow through the rain,
And feel the promise is not vain,
That morn shall tearless be.


O Cross that liftest up my head,
I dare not ask to fly from thee;
I lay in dust life’s glory dead,
And from the ground there blossoms red
Life that shall endless be.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Music from the Sky

I love Debussy.

I love this song. I'm having a love affair with it.

Well, then...it is lucky for me that my sister is learning it for her Winter Quarter and I get to hear her practice it all the time.



I have been posting too many videos...a very shoddy excuse for blog posts. But it's so easy!

I don't know where my title came from...that's what it sounds like to me. Oh, maybe because that crazy man whistles it on that astronomy TV show...but it does sound like stars twinkling.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Waltz in Swing Time

Winter is a time for nostalgia.

When I was a younger I wanted to be an actress. (OK - well, I still do, I just have accepted that I am not) and dancing just went right along with that. I love dancing.

I've never danced, but I know I love it.

When I was younger I would dress up in heels and flowing skirt and go dance in our barn. Because it was big...lound...echo-y. I would imitate Ginger Rogers because I loved watching Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire movies. (Eek...actually, it doesn't seem that long ago.) They are really dumb, though. Really, really dumb. Because movie writers would have to write scripts around the song/dance acts and that resulted in stupid plots. I grew up watching those black-and-white, film noir,glamorous, artistic older movies. They have a special place in my heart.

I was thinking about some of those Rogers/Astaire movies with a nostalgic longing this week and thought about placing a hold on some of them throught the library. But then, I found the dance scenes on YouTube...and since those are the best parts...who needs the movies?

I mean, come on...who wouldn't want to be Ginger Rogers?


Reverse Thinking

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Perfection

"Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire - wanting nothing." James 1:3-4

The Bible has a lot to say about patience. Patience, Longsuffering, Endurance...they are all bound up in each other. Longsuffering and Endurance are active - I see them in my mind's eye as men, struggling, sweating as they drag that daily cross up the dusty road. Patience -she - as the Biblical grammar states - is also active. But in a different way. Gently, femininely Patience works tirelessly within our hearts, while Endurance and Longsuffering are revealed through our actions. Patience works harder, night and day, in every Trial, Temptation, Joy, or Circumstance (such as babysitting two rambunctious children, as I am now) to make us - perfect. She may seem unloving, and uncaring at times - bitter beyond bearing...but like a firm mother, she knows what is best, and desires to present us to God in Christ Jesus - lacking nothing.

Do not resent Patience. She is your Friend.

I have always loved quotes..quotes, proverbs, poetry. I started a journal when I was probably about 10 years old, to collect any quotes or proverbs I would come across. Yes, I was a nerdy homeschooler that way. I remember standing in line for the diving board at a public swimming pool one summer. I couldn't have been any older then 10. Possibly 11. Maybe. The line of kids in front of me was long. When one child jumped off of the diving board it took awhile, because the next child was not allowed to dive until the child in the pool had reached the ladder. It was a safety precaution, to eliminate underwater concussions from children bonking heads. There was a hawk-eyed life guard sitting right there making sure we didn't have any fun - I mean, making sure we stayed safe. The little boy in front of me was voicing his frustration openly -

"Come on! Come on! Come on! Get outta the water!!" He would yell, wave his hands and dance around every time another child dove off. I looked solemnly down at him. He turned and faced me still yelling and hyper. When he paused for breathe, I looked down dramatically and quoted from memory, with all the ageless wisdom I could muster, my favorite German proverb:

"Patience is a bitter plant that has a sweet fruit." I told him.

"Huh?"

He looked at me with a wrinkled forehead and his mouth hanging open...he was silent about five seconds then he turned back and kept on yelling - my youthful pearl of wisdom lost on him. I remember this story so well...how deeply that proverb affected me when I first read it - simply because I like the metaphor.

Patience may seem bitter - her gentle ways cruel as she walks calmly through the gated garden of your heart, plowing and cutting and trimming - working hard in her gray, threadbare dress spun by Love. Her presence may seem unassuming, but you are always aware of the painful strokes of her hoe. Diligently, teaching us selflessly, she works and tends to purify our ways and to bring us into the fulness of JOY.

To make our hearts a place for a Weary Head to rest. A hidden garden, with high walls and an ornate gate. A spiritual paradise in full bloom - a myriad of shade and dancing sunlight, fertile ground, and delicious fruit tended by the calloused hands of Patience herself.

And roses. Many, many roses. Fragrant and thoughtful...some white in shameless purity.

Some stained deep crimson by the blood of the Savior.

Perfection.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Beware of Ishmael

Winter is a good time for disillusionment.

That is what I always try to protect myself from in these months. Perspective helps - so does laughing, visiting friends, planning trips, Christmas lights, and family movie times.

Oh, and prayer. And Scripture.

Maybe it's just part of growing up. Everyone has their times of the year when they start to reflect. Looking back at only my short twenty years, I'm surprised at the paths I've been taken on. I can't wait to see what else is ahead.

 If I can keep discouragement away.

My sister and I went out Saturday night - met a friend at the mall and went out to eat. We've know R---- for years. Literally. We grew up in the same church, under a lot of the same circumstances: home schooled, big family, old house, family-owned business, conservative values - some family's more legalistic than others. She and my sister go to the same college, and "school talk" dominated much of the conversation.

"So how about you, Emily?" She asked, as we both paused in Old Navy and browsed some scarves, "You have any school plans?"

"Yeah..." I replied

"What? What was that look for?" She asked.

"I don't know. I do have some plans. I'm starting a long distance degree in Christian Counseling from a seminary in January - but it's unaccredited, so...I still want to start in Sinclair next fall and get an Associates in Communications. Anyway, that's the plan...." I finished with a smile.

R---- gave an approving look, "That's cool. Stick to your plan."

 She turned to me, suddenly and her voice intensified, "Because as much as I would love to believe in Prince Charming and that he'll just come riding up - it won't happen. You have to make plans for yourself."

I took in what she said, and teased her a little for her "words of wisdom." But I know her too well. And I know myself. It is all too attractive to think discouragingly. Too tempting to believe in the necessity of self-sufficiency. R---- plays that role well - but that's all it is: a role. For all her big talk, she is like every other wounded, vulnerable, waiting young lady. Because no matter how you were raised, or how good you are - you will be wounded. That's what happens in a world of sin. Ugly, sickening sin. What is so easy to "forget", is where sin abounds, grace much, much more abounds!

"My goal in life is to never live with someone else again. After six brothers - are you kidding me? I'm serious!" She said as we made our way through the Saturday night shopping crowds. We chose to ignore that comment.

Because later, sitting the quiet restaurant booth, after finishing our meals, she told on herself.

"I'm in a Bible study with several other girls and we're praying for each of our requests specifically. My request was that either God would allow something to happen with "this guy", or that I would get over him and neither has happened. God is answered all the other girls requests, and I feel like God is ignoring me."

"They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their wings, they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint. Wait, I say, wait on the Lord."

But she knows the Scriptures. She was raised in them as we were as well. And sometimes it's just hard to hold on. That's why God tells us to pray for faith. Pray, pray, pray...

Lord, I believe...help Thou my unbelief!"

Rebekah said she texted her older, wiser, married sister.

"Tell me again," She wrote, "why it's important to wait on God?"

The answer?

"Because if you don't, Ishmael happens."

"I thought that was a really cool answer," R---- said.

I agree.

Monday, December 13, 2010

I Love This Song


Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart,
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art;
Thou my best thought, by day or by night;
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my Light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, be Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me Lord;
Thou my great Father - I, Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Be Thou my battle-shield, sword for my fight,
Be Thou my dignity, Thou my delight.
Thou my soul's shelter, Thou my high tower.
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor man's empty praise,
Thou mine inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven's joys - O bright Heaven's sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befalls;
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of All!

- Ancient Irish Hymn

 Make this my prayer, O Lord.

With My Own Two Hands

I can change the world
With my own two hands
Make it a better place
With my own two hands
Make it a kinder place
With my own two hands
With my own
With my own two hands
I can make peace on earth
With my own two hands
I can clean up the earth
With my own two hands
I can reach out to you
With my own two hands
With my own
With my own two hands
I'm going to make it a brighter place
With my own two hands
I'm going to make it a safer place
With my own two hands
I'm going to help the human race
With my own two hands
With my own
With my own two hands
I can hold you
With my own two hands
I can comfort you
With my own two hands
But you've got to use
Use your own two hands
Use your own
Use your own two hands
With our own
With our own two hands
With my own
With my own two hands


- Jack Johnson

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Psalm 16

"Preserve me, O God: for in Thee do I put my trust...The LORD is the portion of mine inheritance and of my cup: Thou maintainest my lots. The lines are fallen in pleasant places; yea, I have a goodly heritage. I will bless the LORD who hath given me counsel: my reins also instruct me in the night seasons. I have set the LORD always before me: because He is at my right hand, I shall not be moved. Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth; my flesh also shall rest in hope. For Thou wilt not leave my soul in hell; neither will Thou suffer Thine Holy One to see corruption. Thou wilt show me the path of life: in Thy presence is fulness of JOY; at Thy right hand are pleasures for evermore."

Friday, December 10, 2010

HaPpY

Things that make me happy:

- The beautiful moon we have had the past several nights.

- Busy, busy lunch rushes

- The perfect shade of lipstick

- Children singing Christmas songs

- My younger sister Anna, playing her original composition on the piano

- Hot coffee

- CLEP tests. (Well, the tests themselves don't make me happy, but the idea makes me happy. Especially Introductory Psychology....yuck)

- Cute kitties

- Christmas lights...(even though they are a pathetic waste of electricity...but, that's my Grinch-like alter-ego trying to get out...)

- A good night's sleep

- Warm fires

- Laughing

- Ibuprofen...

:)

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Wonderful Life

Beautiful is in the sky
Watch it slowly
All our time is flying by, too fast
Where we're headed is so clear
It can feel like nowhere.
But everything we need is here, right now

'Cause the sun is shining
And the world is alive

Everything's all right
And all we've ever needed
It's a perfect day to be alive
So no more waiting now
For a wonderful life
'Cause it's a wonderful life right now

Beautiful is in the eyes
Of a friend or a stranger
Souls searching in disguise, for love
We're all planning our escape
To something higher
But there is a better way to live

'Cause the sun is shining
And the whole wide world is alive and...

Everything's all right
And all we've ever needed
It's a perfect day to be alive
So no more waiting now
For a wonderful life
'Cause it's a wonderful life right now

And the sun is shining
And it's so good to feel alive!

- Natalie Grant

Star Light, Star Bright

I got out of the car last night after getting home from a concert with my sister. It was dark, cold and frosty. I happened to look up and gasped. Not a cloud was in the sky, and stretched all across like a dazzling display of jewelry, was a starry sky. I even leaned against the car and stood staring for several minutes, even though it was icy cold.

I have to admit this - somehow the stars look even  more beautiful even the winter. I don't why...maybe, it's because the distant specks of light seem warm in the cold weather...but that's how my silly mind works.

Earlier yesterday I watched the latest Nasa rocket launch live on FoxNews. It's always a breathtaking display of what man has been able to accomplish through science. Later last night as I stared up at the sky, the cargo rocket had already completed it's three and a half hour journey of orbiting the Earth three times at 17,000 m.p.h., and crash landed in the Pacific ocean.

But when I see the stars and think about the One who put them there - all that man can do is blown away.

Stars are amazing to me because they have always been there. For thousands of years, men have stared up at the same stars, whose light has traveled billions of light years to reach us. These stars that you can stare at in the sky and somebody thousands of miles away can be looking. These same stars, who sing aloud their praise to God, and whose massiveness and energy and distance make us look like a speck in the cosmos...

"The heavens declare the glory of God and the firmament showeth His handiwork..." Psalm 19:1

Thank you, God, for Your beautiful stars. reminders of Your great Love.

:)

Glory to the Righteous One

After the Judgement and grief of Isaiah so far - it is a relief to read through chapters 25-27. It is a song of Praise. Praise for God's Salvation, His People, and His Victory.

Isaiah had to bear lot. He was young and somewhat insecure when God first called him to be a prophet for Him. He had to bear the burden of the weighty message God had for His people. Isaiah was given a look into the grief and torment that would consume the earth "in that day" - the day when Christ stands on the earth and judges His creation.

And now - the good news.

Isaiah reaches out beginning in Chapter 25, with an intensely personal cry - "Lord, thou art MY God..."


MY God.

My Strength. My Refuge. My Shade. (25:4)

"...I will praise thy name; for thou hast done wonderful things; thy counsels of old are faithfulness and truth." (vs. 1)

God is always on the side of the poor, the needy, the distressed. Jesus told us, "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven."

He will bring down the proud city. He will bring down His enemies and those that tread on His people. The Jewish people, and His children through Christ's righteousness around the globe. He will bring shade in the heat, and refuge in the blast of the storm. He will swallow up death in VICTORY and wipe away all tears. And then...we will celebrate.

A celebration that Christ has been looking forward to since that last time He sat and ate with His disciples:

"But I say unto you, I will not drink henceforth of this fruit of the vine, until that day, when I drink it new with you in my Father's kingdom." (Matthew 26:29)

His bride, the Church of Christ gathered from all over the world, will sit and eat with Him. He will serve us Himself, and sit and fellowship with us.

"And in this mountain shall the LORD of hosts make unto all people a feast of fat things, a feast of wines on the lees, of fat things full of marrow, of wines on the lees well refined. (25:6) And he will destroy in the mountain the face of the covering cast over all people, and the veil that is spread over all nations." (25:7)

God will host a lavish, loving, "inaugural" celebration with us, and take away all manner of separation. Somehow, to me, the promise in this verse is not just the cloud of spiritual darkness that separates people, but language barriers and cultural differences and prejudices, so that believers from every nation, tongue and tribe will be able to fellowship and worship together, as Kingdom Citizens.  No "Cross-Cultural Communications" course necessary! And what a day that will be!

Chapter 26 begins with describing the safety and protection that Christ's rule will bring to the city of Jerusalem and essentially, the earth.

"And in that day shall this song be sung in the land of Judah; We have a strong city; salvation will God appoint for walls and bulwarks. OPEN YE THE GATES, that the righteous nation which keepeth truth may enter in."

Have you seen Jerusalem recently? Israel is one on of the most heavily guarded countries in the world - and for good reason. The enemies of God's people are everywhere on the face of this world.

But not so during the Millennial reign of Christ. Righteousness, Truth and Salvation will keep the city of Zion, and the whole world. Highways will be built to those open gates, and all who desire can enter in.

Can you imagine?

It's difficult to wait.

"O LORD," Isaiah cries in verse 8, "have we waited for Thee! the desire of our soul is Thy name, and to the remembrance of Thee. With my soul have I desired Thee in the night; yea, with my spirit within me will I seek Thee early: for when Thy judgements are in the earth, the inhabitants of the world will learn righteousness."

For thousands of years the Jewish people have waited om their Messiah. When He came - they did not know Him. Now, still they wait - not understanding that when He comes again, He comes to Judge and to restore. And now, His people through Christ's righteousness - the Church, combined of Jews and Gentiles - await His second return.

And He is coming.

But He will not be humble this time.

No infant form.

No stable.

No manger.

No persecution.

He is coming as the King of King and the Lord of Lords.

Tell them.

They need to know.

"Even so come Lord Jesus..."

Map tann

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Thank You

I am sitting in the restaurant, ready to start studying the notes of my Bible study, and blog about my discoveries. Larry just walked in the door with a cup of hot coffee and an apple turnover for me. It was pleasant, comfortable...thoughtful. It reminded me of the core lesson in this past week's Bible study.

Praise God.

Sometimes it's just a thoughtless phrase..."Well, praise the Lord." We sings songs and hymns about it, and read Psalms...but do we do it as a thoughtful, intent action - as much as we should? And what do we do it for?

One of the most convicting things that Jane said on Monday nights lecture seemed rather cliched. She presented the idea of keeping a list things we are thankful for - things to praise God for everyday.

"Why don't I do that?" I had to ask myself...

It is so easy to complain. So, so easy. Why should it be hard to praise God - all the time? Point in case:

I hate snow. I. Hate. It. And sometimes I want everyone to know. All of those happy, ignorant people who slather the social websites with their exultations on the beauty and fun of snow. I wish I could tell ALL of them:

"Ahem, excuse me, people! For all of you out there who think that snow is pretty and fun, please remember that snow was NOT in God's original design of creation. Snow means cold - which means death and barrenness. It is destructive and miserable. For those of you who live in warmer climates, which might get three-four inches of snow during the winter months, or have only seen it in pictures, OR live in small neighborhoods, where your brother gets out and shovels your tiny driveway before you go outside, salt trucks go up and down your neighborhood street early in the morning and the wind is blocked by buildings - you don't know what you're talking about. You've never been snowed in by four foot drifts that form five minutes after you've shoveled your sidewalk, caused by 40 mph sub-zero winds whipping across acres and acres of empty cornfields and blowing through your layers of clothes like icy needles and even through the cracks of your bedroom window. So please, remember - snow is NOT fun! It is anything, but that."

But I don't say that. That's mean. I wouldn't want to be responsible for ruining anyone's delusions - I mean - illusion of snow.

Still - as much as I am NOT a snow person, when the wind calms, and the clouds clear and the sun shines on the acres and acres of pure, white, sparkling snow that spread all around my property - there is really nothing like that real life picture to remind me of the reality of God's promise -

"Come now, let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be white as snow..." Isaiah 1:18

"Thank you God, for the beautiful picture you have given me through Your creation of snow, of the work You faithfully do in my soul."

So instead of keeping a record of the 2, 931 reasons why I hate snow, cold and winter in general...why not keep a record of the work God does? Even the little things that make me happy - small and inconsequential - can be little gifts from a loving Father.

Thank you for warm fires...

Thank you for good friends - who kindly bring me hot food and warm coffee to share together...

Thank you for the good business we have had, and the faithful customers who come out even in 14 degrees F....

Thank you I have a home, bed and food for my mouth.

Thank you for laughter, which makes EVERYTHING better...

Thank you I do not have to live in the middle of instability and riots...

Thank you for Your Word - which is always the same and always perfect...

Thank you for love...

Lesson learned.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

In Better Hands

It's hard to stand on shifting sand,
It's hard to shine in the shadow of the night.
You can't be free if you don't reach for help.
And you can't love if you don't love yourself.
But there is hope when my faith runs out.
'Cause I'm in better hands now.

It's like the sun shining when the rain is pouring down;
It's like my soul is flying though my feet are on the ground.
So take this heart of mine, there's no doubt
That I'm in better hands now.

I am strong, all because of You,
I stand in awe of every mountain that you move;
I am changed; yesterday is gone;
I am safe, from this moment on.
And there's no fear when the night comes 'round
'Cause I'm in better hands now.

It's like the sun is shining when the rain is pouring down;
It's like my soul is flying though my feet are on the ground.
So take this heart of mine, there's no doubt
That I'm in better hands now.

-  Natalie Grant

Grace

Think about grace.

Really think about it.

Think about it's power in you. Think about the power of Christ.

"But the God of ALL grace, who has called us unto His eternal GLORY by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you
PERFECT,
STABLISH,
STRENTHEN,
SETTLE you."
I Peter 5:10

God calls us, as His children, Saints in Light, to be perfect, holy and righteous. Yet, be reminded, that it is His work IN you. He will do the perfecting, the stablishing, the strengthening and settle you on a sure foundation.

"Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in Heaven is perfect." Matthew 5:48

"That ye might walk worthy of the Lord unto ALL pleasing, being fruitful in EVERY good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God.
STRENGTHENED with ALL MIGHT
according to His
GLORIOUS POWER
with ALL patience and longsuffering with
JOYFULNESS."
Colossians 1:10-11



As you are CALLED, so will you be STRENGTHENED.

Unto "ALL PLEASING" - so, with "ALL MIGHT."

"As ye have therefore received Christ Jesus the Lord, so
WALK
YE
IN
HIM.
ROOTED and STABLISHED
in the faith, as ye have been taught,
Abounding therein
WITH THANKSGIVING."
Colossians 2:6-7

It is a glorious truth.

One that we, one that I, at least, must remind myself daily.

Of the truth of GRACE.

Of the truth of the power of CHRIST.

We are all a working progress...

"Till we all come in the unity of faith,
and of the knowledge of the
Son of God,
unto a
PERFECT man,
Unto the measure of the
STATURE
of the FULNESS OF CHRIST."
Ephesians 4:13


But still...

We are seated with Christ in the heavenlies.

We have an inheritance with the Saints in Light.

We are His workmanship - and He knows what He doing, and what the final masterpiece will be He has in mind for each of us.

We are Temples of the Holy Ghost.

We are more than conquerors.

We are loved.


Thank you Jesus, for amazing grace!

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Make Me Thy Fuel

From prayer that asks that I may be
Sheltered from winds that beat on Thee,
From fearing when I should aspire,
From faltering when I should climb higher,
From silken self, O Captain, free
Thy soldier who would follow Thee.

From subtle love of softening things,
From easy choices, weakenings,
(Not thus are spirits fortified,
Not this way went the crucified)
From all that dims Thy Calvary,
O Lamb of God, deliver me.

Give me the love that leads the way,
The faith that nothing can dismay,
The hope no disappointments tire,
The passion that will burn like fire;
Let me not sink to be a clod:
Make me Thy fuel, Flame of God

Friday, December 3, 2010

Praying for Asia Bibi

Voice of the Martyrs Ministry has done an awe-inspiring job of supporting those being imprisoned for their Christian faith around the world. They send out daily Prisoner Alerts, to whoever is willing to recieve them, so that the Church can better fulfill their role in praying and supporting those in bonds. (Hebrews 13:3)

Often the stories are unknown and not widely told - that is, where the mainstream media is concerned. However, Asia Bibi's story has attracted a large amount of internationl attention. You can read more of her story here.

Please join me and thousands of other Christians around the world as we lift up our sister in Christ.

"Whosoever therefore shall confess me before men, him shall I confess also before my Father, which is in Heaven." Matthew 10:32

"For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ; for it is the power of God unto salvation onto everyone that believes..." Romans 1:16

"He will swallow up death in victory; and the Lord GOD will wipe away tears from off all faces; and the rebuke of his people shall he take away off all the earth: for the LORD has spoken it." Isaiah 25:8

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Something's in the Air...

Something's in the air tonight
The sky's alive with a burning light
You can mark my words something's about to break

And I found myself in a bitter fight
While I've held your hand through the darkest night
Don't know where you're coming from but you're coming soon

To a kid from Oregon by way of California
All of this is more than I've ever known or seen


Come on and we'll sing, like we were free
Push the pedal down watch the world around fly by us
Come on and we'll try, one last time
I'm off the floor one more time to find you
And here we go there's nothing left to choose
And here we go there's nothing left to lose

So I packed my car and I headed east
Where I felt your fire and a sweet release
There's a fire in these hills that's coming down
And I don't know much but I found you here
And I can not wait another year
Don't know where you're coming from but you're coming soon...

I can still hear the trains out my window
From Hobart Street to here in Nashville
I can still smell the pomegranates grow
And I don't know how hard this wind will blow
Or where we'll go

To a kid from Oregon by way of California
All of this is more than I've ever known or seen


Come on and we'll sing, like we were free
Push the pedal down watch the world around fly by us
Come on and we'll try, one last time
I'm off the floor one more time to find you
And here we go there's nothing left to choose
And here we go there's nothing left to lose

- Matt Kearney

A Year Ago

Exactly one year ago today, I woke up to a gray, cold, wet day. I got up from bed, looked out the window, and prayed a small, but sincere prayer: "God, please help me to serve you no matter what the circumstances are." Twenty-four hours later I was on a plane bound for Port-au-Prince, Haiti. Friends, who has an extra plane ticket for their mission trip, had invited me to come with them.

I still remember Pastor Pierre's voice when I called to tell him I was in Haiti. I remember his shock at the fact that I was staying at a house along Vincent Stenio - that I was close enough to walk to Chambrun.

"You find out you are coming to Haiti - Emily, you could have ended up anywhere. You could be in Cap-Haitian, Jacmel, Jeremie...God put you right back in Chambrun...I think He is trying to tell you something! You belong here - I think you better listen!"

I can't believe it's been a year.

I would be dreadfully dishonest if I did not admit that 2010 has been one of the hardest years of my life. 2009 was beautiful, and full of promise and opportunity. Three mission trips, new friends, new church, spiritual growth, a plan I thought I could plow ahead with - but everything came to a screeching halt on January 12, 2010 and went downhill from there. Change of plans, disappointment, hurtful people and circumstances, leaving our church, losing friends...I though the last three months would end awesome...but that dream shattered when I boarded my plane back home two and a half months earlier then planned.

I will be happy to see the end of 2010.

It has been a year since I played in that orphanage...and tried to say goodbye that last night. I remember how the girls clung to me, I remember the heat and sweat and the way the car headlights cut through the darkness. I remember their tears and cries - at least twenty of them.

"Emily, please don't leave! Please, Emily - I need you! We need you!"

I promised them I would come back. I promised.

And when I came back in September I had every intention of keeping my promise. I drove by the road of the orphanage every day - but I put off my visit because I thought I had plenty of time...

It is that broken promise that keeps me awake now, and those cries through time that make me cry in the night.

But I have one thing to cling to...the burden and vision God revealed to me through those young girls and their cries and their desperation. It's why I want to go back; why I want to be a counselor; why I want to spend time and money going to school - because I love them. Because God loves them and I want to go back - to stay. And be prepared.

The verses of scripture for my reading today meant so much:

"Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Thee: because he trusts in Thee. Trust ye in the LORD forever: for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength." Isaiah 26:3-4

The question for that reading said, "What is a steadfast mind and what are it's benefits?" I answered:

"To me, a steadfast mind is a mind with no doubts, no fears, no worries. The benefits are peace and confidence in your future, direction and purpose. A mind that is firmly established in the TRUTH and will not be swayed from that foundation at any cost or by any circumstance..."

The JOY of the LORD is my strength. I know I can rest in His peace, even when my life takes chaotic directions. There is a reason His peace is considered past understanding. There is no way else to explain it. He has given me a direction and a vision and a burden - something I didn't have even a year ago. And an iron will to carry it out. I have learned to live by the motto of the Roman Emperor Titus:  "Hasten Slowly."

I have learned to accept change, and the transition that every new and unexpected path takes - and to run towards it with open arms. I have learned to live in anticipation instead of complaining. To wait and to run.

I can't wait to see what 2011 brings.

Map tann...map vini.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Music

I don't why I decided to torture my readers by putting a playlist on my blog. I always hate opening a page and then being surprised when unfamiliar music starts pouring out of my speaker. Don't you hate it too? Like I said, I'm not sure what possessed me. And since it is December 1 and close to Christmas, it's about time for me to create a Christmas Music playlist! Oh, boy!

I love music. I cannot imagine life without it. It is one of God's greatest gifts to us. While musical ability runs in my family, music to me be continues to be very personal. I love it, I've been trained classically, and I understand it...but I'm not a performer when it comes to playing my violin. Unless I'm being paid. Isn't that pathetic? I've tried to diagnose my lack of confidence when performing on my violin and it makes no sense. I love singing, acting and public speaking. Those things do not make me nervous...at least to the extent of throwing up. But when I close my bedroom door, shut the windows and cover up the vent - I love to make music for my own personal satisfaction and emotional release.

I was five or six years old when I first introduced to the music of Antonio Vivaldi. My mom had a theatrical recording that told the story of a young girl arriving at his girl's musical boarding school in Venice, and was full of fictitious dialogue and mystery. However, it was also liberally sprinkled with Vivaldi's music, and I fell in love with the red-headed composer who had been dead for 250 years. I listened to that recording at least once a day, and acted out all of the main characters as I did so. I also begged my mom for violin lessons. Which I received.

I was happiest when I was finally able to start working on Vivaldi's violin concerto in A minor, 1st Movement. It was the song that started it all for me. And it is also the song that every Book 4 Suzuki violin student has been tortured by, since the program started. But I loved it. I can't play it very well anymore, but I still love it.

My siblings are better musicians that I am. My older sister is an amazing piano player and is pursuing her degree in music performance. She is making all As, of course. My brother was singing harmony when he was three years old and my little sister Anna, plays the piano by ear...both hands. I am not tone-deaf, but I had to teach myself to sing harmony when I was a teenager to avoid being embarrassed in chorale. I don't have perfect pitch, but after lessons with very talented music teachers, I am able to fine-tune my violin and other people's, with a musically trained ear - now very sensitive to the difference between sharp and flat. I don't have the best natural sense of rhythm - but I don't try and fake it! I had a teacher who taught me how to count, and count I do! I am not able to compose, retain music theory, or play a double clef instrument like my sister, but I have a deep appreciation for the time, effort, talent, emotional message, and professionalism that is put into songs and performances, and I understand chorale and orchestral protocol.

I am so thankful for the classical musical training I have received and for my parents for supplying it and pushing me when I did not want to perform! It has given me a strong foundation and an appreciation for the artistic expression of all kinds of music. I will always regret not going farther than I did in my training - but I look forward to reaping the benefits I received! Who knows...maybe I'm not finished...there just might be another beginning in my future!

I'm Prayin for You

Let's never forget to pray for the men of God in our lives and our brothers in Christ around the world. Satan is always at work - so must we be.



Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Walking

Making my way downtown, walking fast
Faces pass and I'm home bound.
Staring blankly ahead, just making my way,
Making my way down through the crowd.

And I need you.
And I miss you.
And now I wonder...

If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass me by?
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you,
Tonight.





Isaiah 24

It's amazing how the scriptures open up like a flowing spring of water, the deeper and deeper you get into an inductive Bible study.

That is how I feel studying the book of Isaiah. We are now in chapters 24-27, a section which is called
"Isaiah's Little Book of Revelation" because of the prophecies concerning the Second Coming of Christ and impending Judgement. It reveals the heart of God and His character in the frightening way - the way that no one wants to think about. But the most disturbing discovery, I have figured out, happens when you look into your own heart and compare your attitude to God's attitude of disgust and hate for sin.

It is very sad to read about the coming Judgement. It is sad to think how serious God takes sin and pride, and the lengths He is willing to go to purge His creation of sin and it's affects. But what makes it most heartbreaking, is that all the Judgement and punishment necessary to appease God's wrath was already laid on His Son - when He died on the Cross. Believers, by faith, know that they are spared the wrath of God because of His death and resurrection. But not so for everyone. And sadly, the believers will not be the majority. They will be the remnant. A little bit left over when all the Judgement is finished. That is why is to so very, very important to spread the Gospel. The Bible tells us that the remnant will come out of every nation and island on earth. But who will they be?

At the root of God's justice and judgment however, is His motive behind everyone of His acts. His great Love. The notes on the Bible study showed me how God has "an intense interest in our lives. He calls His people to believe in Him, but when they preferred the security by association with people in the world, He sometimes removed their false security so that, undistracted, they would trust them again."  

God likes the knock out the props sometimes and remind us Who is really our Strength, Refuge and Shadow. (Isaiah 25:4) It is easy to fall into the easy, comfortable routines of the broad path and walk in tune with the world. To feel comfortable in our association with them, their acceptance of us and our activities - perhaps not sins in themselves, but self-focused and forgetful of God.

"Most men, women and children move through their daily routines assuming that everything will keep on as it always has, and that God is really quite tolerant of their indifference to Him. Nothing could be farther from reality...Many people seem to live successfully without honoring God...but apart from Him, fears are unrelieved; happiness is superficial and brittle; relationships hang suspended on the fragility of individual will...immorality becomes the basis for entertainment; families are shattered; institutions become bloated with competition and self-interest, and the creativity of human civilization shrivel and die."

Isaiah 24:14-16a, shows the song of praise that the remnant will lift up to God, "They shall lift up their voice, they shall sing for the majesty of the LORD, they shall cry aloud from the sea. Wherefore glorify ye the LORD in the fires, even the name of the LORD God of Israel in the isles of the sea. From the uttermost part of the earth have we heard songs, even the glory to the righteous."

The Bible study asked us to read those verses and then asked, "What do these verses describe and what are your thoughts about them?" I thought a long time about that and then wrote:

"When I see the state of the world as it is today, it is so very difficult to imagine the entire human race so focused on praising God, and on the pursuit of True Love and Peace. But I know it will happen and it reveals the frightening intensity of judgement God will "unleash" on earth first..."

The lady giving us our lecture last night made a point that hit me in the heart, "God does not want us to be in love with our life on earth. He has a much better plan in store for us."

And how true that is.

It is so very easy to be swayed be ease and comfort. To get caught up in what the world deems as important...money, comfort, relationship, things. To forget that this world is fragile and will not last. But God will. He is our Rock, and all those planted upon the Rock will stand sure. We, I, am called to serve God, love God, be set apart - holy and separated - from the world and spread the Gospel of Peace in everything I say and everything I do.

I thank God for the privilege of serving Him, and of loving Him. I thank Him for rescuing me. I thank Him for the work He has done and the work He will do.

"And He shall judge among the nations, and shall rebuke many people; and they shall beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks; nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war anymore." Isaiah 2:4

"He will swallow up death in victory; and the Lord GOD will wipe away tears from off all faces; and the rebuke of the people shall he take away from off all the earth; for the LORD hath spoken it." Isaiah 25:8

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Grateful Too

I remembered several hours after my blog post on gratitude that yes, I forget to say how grateful I am for BSF - and the impact it is making on my study of the Bible! And, apparently, it was an obvious mistake.

A second thing I am extremely thankful for this year is that Chris, my younger brother, is now bigger than me, taller than me, and stronger than me - which means he is now the one to carry the 40 pound bags of salt down into the cellar...YES!!

One more thing - after last night I am grateful for my warm bed...icy cold winds blowing 40 mph, blowing into the cracks in my window (ahh...winter is here) puts a whole new perspective on God's blessings. I know God is preparing me for something - I have begged on my knees - "God, please don't send me to Iceland, or Mongolia, or Antarctica...I love the Eskimos too...but, please send someone more qualified." So far, I have not felt that calling. And I tell people that being a missionary on a Caribbean island is really...convenient.

This weekend has been "awesomelly" happy too - starting with Thanksgiving on Thursday, shopping and football on Friday, a friend's wedding later this evening, my sister and I are planning to visit a friend's church tomorrow morning and fellowship with her on Sunday, and then BSF Monday night!

Blessings!

Friday, November 26, 2010

Happiness

I love it when you realize in the small, inconsequential moments that it's where the best memories are made. Here are some of my week's awesomelly, happy highlights:

- My sister's chorale performance of Handel's 'Messiah', last Sunday night, and eating cheap ice cream in our fancy clothes, afterwards with a friend.

- Practicing my violin for the first time in ions, and realizing that I don't sound as bad as I thought.

- Listening and watching my brilliant younger siblings - playing the piano by ear, drawing pictures, and never failing to delight me with their funny sayings.

- Sitting in the restaurant dining room with Larry, introducing him to 'Dirait-on'.

- Thanksgiving with family and friends.

- Laughing so hard with my big sis in the beauty aisle at Wal-Mart, that we were crying and had to sit on the floor.

- Watching and sniffling through 'An Affair to Remember' for the first time, with my big sis. "Winter must be cold for those with no warm memories..."

- Any time I get to listen to music, in it's many, heavenly forms!!

- Standing in the fitting room at Khol's and realizing that the size 6 jeans fit me better then size 8!

-Looking into a baby's huge blue eyes, while waiting in the checkout line.

- Hunkering down for some football with a warm stove, spicy nachos and a cold CokeZero...sometimes I really love coming to work.

:)

Anyone want to share their awesomelly, happy moments?

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Unwritten

I am unwritten,
Can't read my mind
I'm undefined
I'm just beginning
The pen's in my hand
Ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your innovation

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten, yeah

Oh, oh

I break tradition
Sometimes my tries
Are outside the lines, oh yeah yeah
We've been conditioned
To not make mistakes
But I can't live that way oh, oh

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
drench yourself in words unspoken
live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
the rest still unwritten

The rest is still unwritten

The rest is still unwritten


- Natasha Bedingfield

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Grateful

I find myself thinking constantly in my mind like I was writing...and I would love to write about my life; anecdotes and stories to practice incorporating humor into my writing. But somehow the temptation is too strong when I sit down to write, and out of the deepest part of me - the part that shrinks back and often refuses exposure - is what gets put down into words.

I could write about my town - one day, promise myself, I will write a book about this place. But it might bore you  now. I mean - why would you care that Lisa Ludy went off her rocker again from a chemical in balance and robbed the Village Pantry late Sunday night? She acted like a clerk and even told Mark, who was in there to buy ginger ale for his wife after closing up the Bar & Grill, that Jesus was coming back on His birthday. She finally called the police on herself.

That was just one night.

I'm telling you, you can't make up the small-town gossip that happens in this town. I love my strange life.
One day, I know I'll miss it.


Since tomorrow is Thanksgiving, I'm doing some thinking, and I know I have so much to be thankful for. Developing a heart of gratitude is something that the Lord is teaching me. Complaining comes so easily, and though it's been said so many times, it is often still so taken for granted - we, Americans, have so much to be thankful for! We don't know.

We don't know.

I am tempted, sitting here now in sleety, icy weather, to complain about the cold - but I am thankful that I am not living in a tent, terrified that I or my children might contract cholera. So I am grateful for the $400+ worth of fuel for our stoves that the Lord provided us with last week, which will last us well into the winter. I'm grateful for my warm bed and warm clothes. I am grateful for the food that goes into my mouth.

I am grateful for my family - for the contribution, joy, friendship and investment that each member, my mom and dad, brothers and sister, have put into my life. If what we have is suffering, then I am happy to be suffering with them. :) I am grateful for the continued good health and protection that God has blessed me, my family, and all of those I love.

I am grateful for my dear friends, brothers and sisters in Christ - His glorious body - that He has blessed we with all over this world.  I am grateful for each and every one who has blessed and invested in my life in a personal way this year.

I am grateful for people, like my friend Cody Lee, who leaves for Basic Training next week...and the thousands like him who are willing to sign up to defend this country, our freedoms and what we stand for.

I am grateful for every lesson, blessing and opportunity that has come my way this year. I am thankful for my Father's deep mercy.

I am thankful for Love. For the Love of the Father - and for my Lover, Jesus, who loved me and gave Himself for me.

We have so much to be thankful for - wherever we live, and whatever our path. I am not one of those disgusting, Candide type of optimistic personality -but perspective make a great difference in the way you choose to live each day. I like to get in the habit, during life's little frustrations and sometimes great disappointments, to say, 'It could always be worse.' Because it always could.

There is an old hymn that says, "Count your blessings, name then one by one; Count your blessings see what God has done..."

Would you join me in counting your blessings, and expressing gratitude to our Maker, this week and all of out lives?

"Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits; who forgives all thine iniquities and heals all your diseases; who redeems your life from destruction; who crowns thee with loving-kindess and tender mercies; who satisfies your mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagles." Psalm 103:2-4

"I thank my God upon every remembrance of you." Philippians 1:3

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Dirait-on

This is without hesitation, one of the most beautiful choral pieces ever composed. I love this song.

Just thought I'd share.

Joel

"Fear not, O land; be glad and rejoice for the Lord will do great things.
Be not afraid ye beasts of the field: for the pastures of the wilderness do spring, for the tree beareth her fruit, the fig tree and the vine do yield their strength...

I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpillar, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you.

And ye shall eat in plenty and be satisfied, and praise the name of the LORD your God, that hath dealt wondrously with you; and my people shall never be ashamed...

And it shall come to pass afterward, that I will pour out my spirit upon all flesh; and your sons and your daughters will prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, your young men shall see vision."

Joel 2:21-22, 25-26, 28

Lord...

"Lord, I believe...

...Help Thou my unbelief!"

Of Love and Other Ramblings

So North Korea fired on South Korea...

So they found what they believe to be a fragment of bone from Natalie Holloway...

So this whole world is hurting, poor, dying, searching...there are wars and rumors of wars...children are affected and suffering and innocence is destroyed...crimes are escalating and injustice is rampant.

So the heathen rage and the people imagine vain things against the LORD of Hosts....the wicked are prospering and Sovereign God is sitting on His throne laughing at those who raise their fists in His face.

Sin is taking over it seems sometimes. God removes is hand...and the evil and savagery that makes us humans takes over and people like to blame Him for the suffering...the cause and effect of our own sin nature.

This Bible study I am involved in is hitting me close and hitting me hard.  I love the book of Isaiah, but I never realized how much was in it that I did not understand. Chapters 13-23 are full of warnings of God's coming Judgment against certain cities and countries - Assyria, Babylon, Egypt, Edom, Tyre, and even God's own people, Israel and Judah. Some of the prophecies have taken place already - as many of those cities are gone and forgotten; their might and splendor swept away in the tide of history. But there is a part of Isaiah's prophecies that have not come to pass - Judgement, in that great, and final "day of the Lord."

We don't like that. Christians don't like to talk about God's Judgement - we stop our ears and tell ourselves that God is LOVE, and forget to see things from His perspective. For if God is love, then He must be a Judge. If God is love then He must HATE sin...hate it's cause and effect; hate the suffering and death and destruction it has inflicted on His perfect creation. And He must purge it. So, He sent His Son - His SON - to die in the place of all mankind; to become the ugly, sick, perverted sinners that have walked this earth. And those who refuse to turn to Him - who refuse His salvation and stand in their pride - receive Judgement and a horrible, horrible eternal existence separated from their Maker.

We don't like that part of God's nature. We don't like the fierce and Holy Judge, who demands the same of His children - holiness and a set apart lifestyle from the world. But to understand God - we must understand all of His nature and that is what I am learning.

Because though God laughs, He takes no pleasure in judgement. Because the whole theme of the Bible is God's Love - and that is revealed even in His judgement. His heart for these peoples is revealed in Isaiah - who lifted up his voice and wept for those he was warning. I have wept for sinners...but so easily forget to carry the pity with me in my heart. It is far, far too easy to stand apart, like the Pharisee in the Temple, with judgement in my heart and pray, "Thank you God, that I am not like him or her."

God never asked us to carry a grudge for Him. He does not need our righteous indignation against sinners. He does not need our anger on His behalf, or our suggestions.

We are called to love. LOVE. To speak the truth in Love. To spread the gospel of peace and to not be weary in well-doing. To faint not, but to run with patience. To be troubled, but not distressed; perplexed, but not in despair. To be of good cheer in the face of expected tribulation and persecution, because He has already overcome the world. We are called to go forth weeping and come back rejoicing. To fulfill the greatest commandment - and be the hands and feet of Christ in this sin-sick, sin-weary world.

And to do that requires walking very, very close to His heart. Everyone, saved and un-saved alike, have an inborn sense of justice; of right and wrong.

So it's easy to weep and feel sorry for the poor, sick, starving children...

But what about the child-molester rotting in prison, a captive to his own sick mind. Is our attitude as God's children, "He's not even getting what he deserves!"

"Were not My hands pierced for him as well?"

Well, Lord, I'll love the innocent babies born with HIV, but to love the sick, selfish men and women who propagate such a tragedy with their immorality...

"Wasn't my back torn, lash by lash, for them as well?"

God, it's horrible when people are murdered, and the innocent affected, but to feel pity for the demon-filled man who savagely murders his own wife and children!

"Didn't I walk that dusty road, filled with mocking faces, a cracking whip and a heavy burden - for his sins too?"

Yes, Lord. Teach me THY way.

God was not judging those ancient cities for their specific sins - He was judging them for their PRIDE. For their resistance of Him. He was there, waiting to accept them with open arms, if they would only turn from their filth and see their need. Oh, such tragedy! Does it not break your heart, as it does God's?

On the flip side, we so often forget to love in the little things. It is a painful, embarrassing lesson to be learned over and over again.

"I know you love her God and died for him - but the way she talks annoys me; his attitude is so hard to be around; she is such a know-it-all; he is rude and thoughtless..."

Amy Carmichael is one of my greatest heroes of faith. Her life revolved around the commitment to love, as Christ loves. On her first missionary trip to Japan, she was shocked when a veteran missionary told her, "Of course we missionaries don't get along all the time!"

Her naivete was the greatest wisdom. Aren't we, as God's people, or God's heralds called to walk that highest path. To not let the little things, little frustrations deter us from the call to Love? It was the turning point in her life and ministry and she modeled her life after that lesson.

So in the face of life's daily battles and frustrations, made worse when we see the news of the world and the tribulation, suffering, filth...is the love of Christ ever made null?

No.

We, the saints of God are called to be Love. Love God, Love each other, Love sinners. And know when you fulfill this command, you are loving and serving Christ. In the face of sin and rejection. In the face of misunderstandings and frustrations, even in the house of God. In war and peace, wealth and poverty, good times and bad...

See how our commitment to love Christ sounds like a marriage vow?

"As you have received Christ - so WALK YE IN HIM!"

Monday, November 22, 2010

Rale-M Vin Kote-W

Rale vinn kote w
Pa kite-m ale
Ma va blye tout lot
Bagay
Pou'm tande'w di m se
zanmi-w
Ou se dezi ke'm
Pa okenn lot moun
Paske anyen pap
Ranplase-w
Pou'm santi chale
Lanmou w
Ede'm jwenn wout la
Mennen'm vin jwenn ou

W se tout sa'm vle
W se tout m'va toujou
Bezwen
W se tout sa'm vle
Ede'm konnen w tou
pre'm.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Why the Lord is the Perfect Husband

I found these notes from a silly, personal Bible study I had written a while ago. It emphasizes why God's characteristics are the embodiment of what most women would call the perfect man. Unfortunately, no man is perfect. It is almost ridiculous to expect this kind of romantic or moral perfection from anyone, outside of the power of Christ in them. All of us, are 100% sinners. So, to find one's satisfaction and completeness in the Holy God who created marriage - is very liberating. For years, I would feel sorry for myself because I didn't have anyone in my life. No prospective husband, who would love me like a lover - as every woman wants to be loved. By God's gracious Spirit, He revealed to me His purpose of marriage, as laid out in His Word. It was a truth I had always known, but it hit me very hard when I realized - "Marriage is the shadow and picture of His love...I am already living the real thing!"

- God loves me constantly, faithfully, completely and unconditionally - deeper than I can imagine, despite my thousands of faults. (Jeremiah 31:3; John 3:16; I John 1:9; I John 4:10)

- God worked very hard and suffered long to pursue and win me. He with held nothing to pay the price, even His own life. (John 3:16; John 15:13; Ephesians 5:25-27)

- God gives me freely what I ask from Him - even the desires of my heart. (Psalm 37:3-5; Matthew 7:7-11)

- He never asks the impossible from me. He knows what I am capable of and what my limits are - He always carries the heavy things. (Psalm 18:32; Psalm 27:1; Psalm 118:14; Matthew 11:28-30; Colossians 1:11)

- God never leaves me hungry or thirsty. He satisfies me and provides for me. (Psalm 103:5; Psalm 145:16; Matthew 6:25)

- I never have to fear that He will leave me or forsake me. His faithfulness is part of His nature - He cannot! (Deuteronomy 7:9; Psalm 27:10; Psalm 36:5; Hosea 2:19-20; Hebrews 13:5)

- He understands me like no other. God knows everything about me that constitutes my personality and desires - and He rejoices over me. (Psalm 139:1-6; Colossians 1:16; Revelation 4:11)

- God is Jealous over me. He fiercely protects me. He will do whatever necessary to win me back from other idols and lovers. (Exodus 20:5; Exodus 34:14; Hosea 2:6-7)

- He will always listen to me - in fact, He wants to hear me. (Psalm 121:4; Psalm 62:8)

- God knows the best ways to rebuke me, chasten me or get my attentions. He never tries to purposely hurt me - only acts out of love. (Hebrews 12:6; Revelation 3:19)

- He loves children! (Matthew 18:1-6)

- He always want to hold my hand. (Psalm 139:10; Isaiah 41:13; Isaiah 42:6)

- He knows how to make me laugh. (Nehemiah 8:10; Psalm 66:1; John 15:11)

- He knows exactly how to encourage me. (Psalm 103:13-14)

- God deeply appreciates beauty. He desires to enhance my beauty He has given me. He loves to look at me. (Song of Solomon 4:7,9; Song of Solomon 6:10; Ephesians 4:15)

- My Warrior God is a strong leader. I don't ever need question His authority. I know He is right! (Joshua 1:9; John 1:1-3; Colossians 1:16-19; Revelation 1:8)

- I am constantly on His mind. (Psalm 139:17-18; Jeremiah 29:11)

- God delights in me - just as I am! (Psalm 45:11, 13)

- He cherishes me by desiring to advance me - my intellect, knowledge, talents, abilities, good works, and beauty. (Psalm 18:32-36; Song of Solomon 4:12; Ephesians 4:15; Philippians 1:11; Colossians 2:6-7)

- He desires to be with me - He wants intimacy. (Song of Solomon 2:4, 10-12)

- God is working hard to prepare me a place - and when it is ready He will come for His bride, take me home where we will live - joyfully ever after! (John 14:1-4)


"Love so Amazing, so Divine - demands my Life, my Soul, my ALL!"

Friday, November 19, 2010

Alabama - 63 to Georgia State - 7


Marquis!

ROLL TIDE ROLL

God's Plan for Your Mate

"Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone; to have a deep, soulful relationship with another; to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. God says:

'No, not until you are satisfied and fulfilled and content with living with Me alone. I love you my child, and until you discover that only in me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect, human relationships I have planned for you. You will never be united with another, until you are united with me - exclusive of anyone or anything else - exclusive of any other desires and longings. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan in existence...one you can't imagine.

'I want you to have the very best. Please allow me to bring it to you. Just keep your eyes on me expecting the greatest things. Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you. You must be patient and wait. Don't be anxious...don't worry...don't look around at what others have received or what hasn't been given to you. And then, when you are ready, I will surprise you with a love more wonderful than you could ever dream. You see, until you are ready and the one I have for you is ready - I am working, even this minute, to have you both ready at the same time. Until you are satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I have prepared for you, you will not be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me, and enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty and perfection.

I AM THE GOD ALMIGHTY - BELIEVE AND BE SATISFIED!'"

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

The Fellowship of the Unashamed

"I am part of the fellowship of the UNASHAMED.

The die has been cast.
I have stepped over the line.
The decision has been made.

I am a disciple of JESUS CHRIST.

I won't look back...
let up...
slow down...
back away...
or be still.

My past is REDEEMED.
My future is SECURE.
My present makes SENSE.

I am done and finished with low living...
sight walking...
small planning...
smooth knees...
colorless dreams...
tamed vision...
mundane talking...
low living...
and dwarfed goals.

I no longer need...
prosperity
   prominance
position
promotions
plaudits
or popularity.

I don't have to be right, or first, or tops, or recognized, or praised, or rewarded.

I live by faith, lean on His presence, walk by patience, lift by prayers and labor by the Holy Spirit's power.

My face is set. My gait is fast. My goal is heaven. My road is narrow; my way is rough; my companions few; my Guide is reliable and my mission is clear.

I will not be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, deluded or delayed.

I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice nor hesitate in the presence of the adversary.

I will not negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity.

I won't...
give up
let up
or shut up

Until I have...
stayed up
stored up
and prayed up

For the cause of JESUS CHRIST.

I must give till I drop, preach until ALL know, and work until He comes.

And when He does come for His own, He will have no trouble recognizing me...

Because my banner will have been clear!"

Last written words of a Rwandan martyr, 1980 

Monday, November 15, 2010

Start Running

Fifteen minutes to closing time, and I am sitting here in the restaurant, pondering the words of the gentleman who just left.

It was timely wisdom. Ever since my return from Haiti, I have been trying to decide what paths to take. How to prepare...where to go to school...what to do....I had my plans, but have felt strangely held back. "Is this right, God? Am I trying to do too much? Am I too ambitious?" I didn't know if it was wisdom holding me back, or my own lack of personal confidence - my tendency to always double guess myself.

Bill comes in often, about twice a week. He is delightfully eccentric and sometimes high maintenance. A classic example of a lonely old man, with too many stories to share. A lover of the Lord, he enjoys talking about God, politics and history.

We shared the tiny table in the dining room, while he ate his dinner and I finished up my Bible study - needing to answer all of the questions before tonight's meeting - sadly enough. I went back to the kitchen when I was finished. He sat reading the book he brought with him, and then rose up to leave.

"Thank you, miss." He said, with his customary little bow. "You have a great day!"

"Thank you!" I said, cheerfully. "You too!"

He paused then, before opening the door to exit. "Are you a straight A student?" he asked, suddenly and out of the blue. I smiled to myself, because I know I am often mistaken as being of high school age.

"Well," I replied, "I am out of high school and I haven't started college yet."

Bill nodded. "Well, can you take a word of advice, from a very old man?"

"I'd love it." I said with a smile.

"Start out running...

...and never stop."

I was surprised. I couldn't reply. He continued, "It's easier to to stay ahead of your class then it is to catch up. I earned my degree at forty-five, because it took me that long to finally learn that lesson."

"Thank you!" I breathed, "I will remember that, I have plans for next year."

"Well," he cut me off, "Your base is what you build on. So make the base strong."

Ten seconds later he was out the door and I was running hot water to wash dishes. With his words in my head I felt a strong confirmation that my decisions are the best, and no - I am not trying to do too much.

I want to hit the ground running.

On your mark...get set...

Go?

Saturday, November 13, 2010

M Sonje Ayiti

"So where you worried for all your friends in Haiti when that hurricane blew through?" Lee asked as I handed him his change.

"No."

He laughed, rather surprised, because that wasn't the answer he was expecting. But it was true. I prayed for Haiti - but I wasn't worried. There are things far worse down there than hurricanes - other things that keep me awake at night.

.....

"Have you heard from any of your friends in Haiti since that bad storm - hurricane?" Mrs. W. asked as we worked on cleaning the outside of her windows.

"Umm...no, not since the hurricane - but I usually call about once a week." I replied. "I know they're fine though."

.....

"I know a young guy - uh, he works down there at that hardware store in Lewisburgh - darn, I can't remember his name! Anyway, he's big into paramedics - he's down in Haiti now givin' people shots!" Ed the plumber, was telling me as I handed him his food and Coke.

"Wow.." I murmured, "That's a great thing for him to do - I know they appreciate it."

.....

"You know Betsey? They go to church at Vineyard Fellowship too..." A lady from the church we have been visiting was telling me about Betsey, as we chatted at the Monday night Bible study they also attended. "They've been on lots of missions to Haiti - and even adopted!"

"Oh, yeah!" I remembered seeing her and her beautiful girls at church months ago. Someone told me the girls were from Haiti.

Later, out of three hundred women, Betsey was seated directly next to me in our small group discussion last Monday night. I wanted so badly to introduce myself - but I didn't know how. She didn't know me from Adam's uncle. So, I did what every classy, socially assured young lady does - I followed her to the bathroom in between small-group and lecture time.

"So is this your first time in Bible Study Fellowship, or did you transfer?" She asked me cheerfully as we washed our hands.

"This is my first time." I replied, with a smile.

"Where do you live?" She asked again.

"We live in Eaton, so it's not a far drive. How about you all?"

"Oh, we live north of D----," she said. "It's a long drive for us, so Monday nights are a big deal." She laughed.

"And you all go to church in B----?" I asked. She got an astonished look on her face.

"Yeah, we do! How do you all know about - have you visited?"

"Yes." I told her with a giggle. She got a "no way!" look on her face.

"When?"

I told her we had visited several times a few months ago, and I remembered seeing her and her daughters. We had also been the past two Sundays, but they were not there.

"The reason I remember you is because someone told me you had adopted from Haiti. That interested me because I have been doing missions to Haiti for three years."

Betsey gaped at me. "Oh my gosh! Hold on, let me grab my purse - we'll talk!" She ran back to the sinks and grabbed her purse. We made our way out of the restroom and into the lobby, pausing before going into the sanctuary.

"So tell me about going to Haiti!?"

I explained to her what I have done since I graduated from high school. "How about you? How do you start going to Haiti?"

She laughed, "Well, we went with the church a few years ago and have been going back. I also work with a medical missions group, organizing medical visas for children. That's how we met Dafka, our other daughter we are trying to adopt. She lived with us for two years, and had to go back recently - only her mom put her in an orphanage because she can't take care of her." Betsey stopped abruptly. "What mission do you go down there with?"

"Well, the first time I went I was in a little town on the north coast, but every other time I have been in Port-au-Prince and Croix-de-Bouquet with the same ministry."

"What's it called?"

"Nehemiah Vision Ministries," I told her.

Betsey's eyes got big and her mouth opened up - "Are they supported by a church in Indiana?"

"Umm - yeah! Almost all of their support comes from churches in Indiana!" I replied.

Betsey quickly asked me if I had ever heard of a few names - best friends she had, who lived in Indiana and were also heavily involved with missions to Haiti and a ministry they always talked about - Nehemiah Vision Ministries. I had never heard of the people she mentioned, but told her that it was growing and there were a lot of people involved.

"OH MY GOSH!" We were both speechless.

Betsey spoke first. "We better go in - are you sitting with anyone?"

We made our way to the front together and sat down. We whispered all through the hymns, as the other ladies sang. We started talking again immediately, forty-five minutes later, when the lecture was over.

"This is so cool!" Betsey said excitedly.

"I know!" I agreed, with equal enthusiasm.

"It's so hard to find people to talk to about Haiti - so many people don't understand." Betsey's eyes were bright and earnest. I felt like her words came straight from my heart.

"Do you know what I mean?" She asked, almost desperately. I could only nod my head.

"Yes, yes, yes..."

"It's something people have to experience for themselves and if you try to explain it you sound like, a -" She searched for how to express herself.

"A snob." I finished.

"Yeah!" she said, "You understand."

"You sound like a missionary snob - " We both laughed.

"I just - I - people don't understand, like with Dafka!" She exclaimed. "Dafka was in the United States for medical work, but she wasn't signed over for adoption. Her parents wanted her back. But that was before the earthquake. Her dad was killed in the earthquake and her mom lives in The Ravine - do you know what that is?"

I nodded.

"Her mom has all these other children to take care of - she can't take care of Dafka because she has a prosthetic leg and she can't get around on her own. Dafka doesn't remember any Creole either, and now she is in an orphanage, where no one speaks English. Her mom has signed her over and as soon as her visa clears, we'll be able to get her - but..."

I waited.

"People hear her story and say, 'We're so happy for you! You're getting another daughter!', but they don't understand!" Betsey's eyes filled with tears. "I am horrified at what has happened to her family. I am horrified that her dad was killed and her mom can't take care of her! It's great that we can adopt her, but it's not supposed to be like that."

I kept nodding, my heart to full for words.

"People just see things like Haiti as a story, a picture, a headline - it's not like that - these people have lives!! They're real people!" Betsey's voice rose in pitch, emphasizing her point - the burden of her heart. She wiped away her tears and I felt the rush of a thousand heartbreaks as I though of countless more precious children, far, far less blessed than Dafka - despite her difficult story. And I knew I had found a close friend in Betsey, for we had in common what is rare to find. Someone with the same burden.

"You know?" Her eyes sought mine for confirmation. I don't remember what I said, but I remember thinking - "God what are you going to do? It's a good thing that I want to go back to Haiti - if I was fighting you I would be miserable because I can't get away!"

"I better go get the girls," She said a few minutes later.

"I would love to meet them!" I said, excitedly.

"Oh good!" As we made our way downstairs she told me about Barbara and Vidline - 8 and 9 year old sisters that they adopted from an orphanage in Port-au-Prince. Barbara and Vidline were still in Haiti on January 12th, and Betsey and her husband had to wait, agonizingly, before getting word from the orphanage that they were OK. Their girls were alive. But five days later - they were starving. Betsey's husband flew down there with food. As a blessing in disguise, because of the earthquake, they were able to get the girls out of the country much sooner, as was the case with many adoptive parents.

"Do they still remember Creole?" I asked we we walked down the steps.

"Very little," Betsey told me. "It's sad - we don't speak it well enough to help them remember."

We arrived at the classroom door, as her daughters were coming out. Beautiful, dark skinned girls with huge, gorgeous eyes and matching, bouncing curls.

"Vidline, this is mommy's friend Emily - can you say 'hi'?" Betsey bent down over Vidline and helped her with her jacket.

"Barbara, this is mommy's friend Emily - can you say, 'hello'?"

The both stared at me with big eyes, and murmured, "Hi."

"Hello Vidline, hello Barbara," I said almost as equally shy. Vidline cracked a sassy smile and ran screaming into a dark classroom. Both of the girls giggled and watched me slyly out of the corners of their eyes as we all made our way upstairs.

I said goodbye to Betsey in the lobby - with promises to see each other next week. I smiled at the girls, as Barbara hid her face in Betsey's skirt, pretending to be shy.

I walked away that night, overcome with an urge to run back, drop to my knees and hold those precious girls in my arms - because they were a tangible link to Haiti. As though just holding them would transport me back there. How can someone feel that strongly for a country? How can you feel away from home when you are home? Why Haiti for me? Why wasn't it Brazil, or Papau New Guinea, or Mongolia, or Congo - why Haiti?

I don't know.

And God doesn't want to give me the answer. But He has given me plenty to hold on to. I wish I could see where it will all lead. But I can't. And the frustration is turned into hopeful excitement, because I know everything in my life will turn out beautifully. All I can do is wait -

Map tann...